It’s been an extremely long period of time since I’ve written something so candid, and forthright. But, I felt it was time—and more importantly, I’ve actually carved out said time to finally do so—which as of the last several months has proved to be more of a challenge than previously. The truth is, it’s taken me a bit of time and a few lessons learned to decode my own personal dilemmas, and to be frank—there are quite a few. That being said, I strongly believe that each one of us has our own list of items to tackle, some big and others small. At the end of the day it’s how we handle those dilemmas, and hurdles that help us to define our lives. In my absence, or rather hiatus from the keyboard I’ve learned several valuable, and enlightening lessons, in no particular order:
One—Never quit your daydream, I know that sounds strangely odd—upon first glance, but never has this come to ring so true, for me that is, until now. I found myself constantly working; working on a new proposal for a client, working on a press-release here, emailing, emailing, and post-feature follow ups. Then there is the time spent coordinating interviews, booking editorial shoots, etc. etc. among other things. Suddenly, I realized it wasn’t for lack of time or the sweet sound of incessant keys clicking along the keyboard—that alone would drive anyone mad. It was that my day job had taken over my daydream. Once longing to pen the next great American novel, okay—-let’s not get a head of ourselves here—-Once longing to have at least written something substantial, of worth and note—and possibly have it published in print, (at this point I’d take online) had all been thrown to the way side, forgotten it seemed. My point being, that even though I was writing and enjoying it—I had forgotten my first dream, —to be a good writer, among others. Which brings me to my next lesson…
(TBT- Photo taken by JMDayeo - Styled by Wilford Lenov in 2012)
Two-Never forget what makes you—you, I’m sure you are all going, huh? Let me break it down for you. We all work, we all have day jobs and jobs we take—honestly for the money, or because we have to pay car payments, and rent but whatever your 9-5 may be, we must remember who we are, and what makes you—You. We get so busy working our regular 9-5, or locked into a routine that we almost sadly, sometimes forget what it’s like to be, just us. Writing, for me—was one of the ways in which I was able to tell if I was ‘losing-it’ or not, I’d sometimes write for hours on end, not for others, although let’s face it—there’d be no point to writing, if there weren’t people to read—I wrote mostly, for myself. Because it was in the quiet corners of my mind that I found solace, I found what made me—Me. It’s only when I return to writing, that I find that missing part of myself, I’m learning how to find time not just to write for work, or for ‘others’ but to write, for myself again, bringing me to my next point…
( Wearing The BoHo Jacket - 2012 - Photographed by - Alex Kapustin )
Three—Never lose touch of reality, No—I don’t mean the latest reality TV series you’ve been coveting, I’m talking about friends, family and fun. Sometimes we get so busy saying yes to everything, that we wind up doing nothing. I’ve fallen victim to this so many times it’s unbelievable. I find myself constantly saying; you’ve got it, no problem, yes, sure I’ll be there—and then forget to mark my calendar so often that I wind up missing out on opportunities that don’t present themselves to everyone, and those missed opportunities can have lasting affects, not only professionally but personally as well. I’ve found that if I say, yes—less often and prioritize my time better, that I actually have more time for the opportunities, people and fun that I so desperately need. I’ll be using this lesson, quite a bit this coming month—as Los Angeles Fashion Week gets underway. And I’ll be prioritizing my calendar to fit the needs and wants, not only of myself but also of those that are of importance to me. I know, I can’t please everyone, but I can at least try.
Four—Never forget to challenge yourself—this ones pretty straight forward but I needed to add this in. I had been challenging myself, sort of betting myself, that I didn’t have the guts to cut my hair. For those of you that don’t know, I have this extremely, (correction—had) this extremely long brunette hairstyle for the better part of a decade, (double-correction it’s been a full decade) and had been wanting to cut my hair for the longest time. So, finally after years of doubting myself and chickening out—-I did it. All the worry, doubt and should I? Went right out the window. Change can bring about some of the most self-rewarding moments and experiences of your life. Challenging yourself on a personal, professional and even physical level can be life-altering. So, I encourage all of you to do so…
(Veronica Welch and Dana Elizabeth - Style Fashion Week 2012)
When all is said and done, the only person with whom you can really, truly count on is you. So make sure that you are giving yourself enough attention, go get that manicure, or cupcake you’ve been craving. Spend time with that friend you’ve been meaning to see for ages, take a break from your work, to spend some time on the hobbies and daydreams that you love. Make sure to challenge yourself, professionally, and physically as well, (I’ve been cycling lately, something I never thought I’d do…and look—-I’m doing it). Try that new restaurant you’ve been drooling over, and most importantly, get out there and live the life you were meant to. I know there are more items yet to be mentioned on my list, but for now—-let’s digest these first four, I know I’ve still got some practicing to do—of all the above. Here’s hoping all of you develop your own, ‘Decoding’ list and hoping you’ll share your thoughts on mine.